AND this gives women what they want - the sex, the thrill of being chased, and being "won..." This is something that most guys almost never discover for themselves. What if he had asked his parents for that B-B gun and they just gave it to him right away? The key to effective seduction is in learning how to give a woman the of wanting you and wanting you badly without having to wait for weeks to make it happen. It's about spending a lot of time with a woman to get her to feel comfortable getting physical with you. There are quite a few ways to get a woman to feel this way with you.The one way you don't want to have to do it is by having to buy her a drink, or bring her flowers. You see, the more you try to "buy" her affections by making her feel obligated to like you, the less she will actually want to do it.

I chased girls, trying to get them to like me and want me.

Trying to get something "off her..." Trying to "get to home base..." Trying to "score..." But then I had one of those "flashbulb" moments when I was 18 that would forever change the way I thought about this whole "sex" thing.

I had my girlfriend Lynn over, and she told me something that I will never forget... We love doing it with guys." I asked her: "So why is it such a big deal for chicks to give it up?

CARLOS XUMA'S DESK: Wednesday PM Hey, I've got something uncomfortable I need to admit, and it has to do with why most guys aren't as successful with women as they want. But first, let me ask you something: Well, let me tell you, you're not alone... Seduction is a very controversial and charged word, and it carries a lot of baggage with it.

The dictionary defines seduction as: ." Any way you look at it, seduction sounds like something BAD.

But the reality is really nowhere near the standard "dictionary" definition.Stick with me here for a minute or two and I'll tell you how seduction is something completely different than you probably think... I even called her up on the phone and asked her over for dinner. My fascination with girls only got stronger as I got older..." And she said: "Because if we gave it to you for free, it would be . We just want you to work a little for it." I thought about what she said, because while it was very simple and obvious, her words also had some wisdom that was very easy to overlook.If guys are essentially playing a game to get the same thing that women want, then it's not all "bad" is it?I was ashamed for years of my natural masculine desire for women, and that shame stopped me from giving women the one thing they desperately wanted... Women WANT you to seduce them because they secretly ache for a man who can take them on a magical journey of romantic temptation. But here's something else that l didn't discover until later... It's like that kid Ralphie in the movie "A Christmas Story." He wanted that Red Rider B-B gun so bad.In fact, what we have is a game where women WANT men to think they are "seducing" them, because this gives men what they want - the sex, the thrill of the chase and winning the "game"... Let me ask you this first: When you were a kid, did you ever want a toy so bad that you couldn't sleep at night? And when he finally got it, it was like he'd been given the Holy Grail. And women don't want you to take too long either, because that would make you seem a bit LESS sexually attractive. I want to say that again, because it's so darn important...